Welcome to your tribe, ladies. I'm Taylor Love, founder of StepMom Tribe. I'm a Colorado wife, daughter, sister, and friend - and a stepmother to two beautiful teenage girls. A lover to an incredible, smart and handsome man I proudly call my husband. In less than a decade of stepmothering, I've experienced more difficult human dynamics than I thought possible.
I've lived the bliss of the honeymoon blended family - two households who could share dinner and activities, catch up over a glass of wine while we watched the girls play. I've seen (and been) a woman at her worst - with all shades of ugly oozing out of her in the form of anger, jealousy, resentment and frustration. I've experienced the receiving end of hatred and cruelty from another woman in a way I thought no human would ever behave toward me - if not because I have a soft and kind heart, then simply because it broke all predictable rules of woman code - a privilege I later realized I had unknowingly forfeited when I chose the role of stepmother. For the life of my relationship, I've existed knowing I've come second to a woman who bore my husband's children, honeymooned with him, celebrated his youth and co-created direction of his life that I've now inherited. My schedule and preferences are privy to the wants, needs and desires of another woman. I've been torn down to my core, and have built myself back up time and time again. I have nurtured my husband through emotional, physical and financial losses - many incurred by a woman who struggles to know whether she hates or loves him still. I've placed my foot for what I thought could be the last time on my door step, certain there was no way all of us would survive if I stayed.
And... I've loved two little beings like my own flesh and blood - who did not emerge from my body, but to whom I've given everything I have - I've provided for them, wiped their tears, celebrated their joys, listened to their hearts deeply. I've savored the sweet embrace of being drawn into this beautiful family of three - I've experienced the depths of humility as a little girl tells me she loves me for the very first time. I've been celebrated on their lovingly crafted "stepmom day" for the first time in my kitchen. I've seen the genuine peace that spreads across my husband's face when these little souls came to me for nurturance, love and attention. I've seen the comfort and assurance my stepchildren feel when their daddy and I exchange "I love you's" to one another. I've spend late nights with my husband, through blood, sweat and tears, creating ways to strength and protect our stepfamily's bond, peace and sweetness. I've cried as we promised each other we were stronger than any forces trying to come between us or our family.
This ride is wild, and my love runs deep. And the more I open to other stepmothers, the more I learn how incredibly common my life is in this complex reality as a stepmother. And the more I realize I was missing belonging to a tribe - like mothers do with one another, like I did as a woman before my stepmother incarnation... Like me, other StemMoms have yearned to feel understood, a part of something, to belong to.... a tribe. Its how we're all programmed to exist. So, to my stepmother sisters out there - welcome home, to your tribe.
Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.